I was six years old when I found out for the first time,
That sometimes the things you love will hurt you. I was playing on the beach, like only a six year old can. I slipped and suddenly I was in the hospital with six stitches in my chin. I found out again, that the things you love can hurt you when I was twelve. The tabloids read: “Justin Bieber has a girlfriend,” and I thought I might never know that happy six year old again. I was nineteen when I found out for the third time, that the things you love can hurt you. I read a series of text messages that said, “I love you,” over and over. Texts that I had sent, that he had ignored. The next time I find out that the things I love can hurt me, I’ll be ready for it. Or not. But I’ll have a six year old, a twelve year old, and a nineteen year old there to strengthen me.
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You tell me I am too angry but I
am sure I’m not angry enough because we’ve all ignored the clouds in the sky, dark enough to make the animals run for their burrows and the birds fly to safety. We did not believe the storm would come and now the power is out, the flowers are drowning, and the animals are worried for us. I am angry because the windows are not closed and the wind blows so strong that we cannot do anything but watch the rain come inside and watch our happy memories fall off the shelves. We wonder how we let this happen and I’m telling you we should have pulled each other inside at the first sign of trouble but the damage is done. And I am not angry enough. More often than not when I sit down to write something I don’t finish it. I do not like this about myself. I have a lot of ideas and moments of passion that lead to a lot of half-written pieces and on occasion, a finished product. A lot of these unfinished pieces (masterpieces probably if I finished them) are born when I’m in bed trying to sleep and although I don’t stay up to write them, I always enter a small bit of the idea into my cellphone notes. I’m a firm believer in writing down any idea that comes to mind, for anything. In fact, one of my favorite quotes from my idol, Lin-Manuel Miranda, says, “You have to live with the notion of, If I don’t write this, no one’s going to write it. If I die, this idea dies with me.” I’m definitely not writing anything that compares to the work he’s done, but the idea still resonates with me. I don’t like to think of something awesome and then kick myself later when I can’t remember it.
So, as I said, it doesn’t matter if I’m half asleep or if I’m in the middle of an assignment for school; if an idea pops in my head I write it down. Examples of some things I’ve written while half asleep are: “Things Shakespeare taught me,” and, “Poem about what you learn during one shift at Richmans.” (Richmans is the ice cream shop I work at during the summer and I actually wrote out a little bit of the poem. It’s kind of cute so stay tuned). These little tidbits and ideas are often very silly so I either forget about them or start writing about them until I get distracted. Surprisingly and thankfully, I wrote something down last night that I actually want to finish. I titled it, “Important Things:” and below it is a list of six things that, even while I am fully awake, I think are important. So here is my list (the small sections in bold are exactly what I had written in my phone) along with a little bit of elaboration for each item. Important things: 1. Catching up with old friends. This one is the reason I made the note in the first place and was inspired by —you guessed it— a conversation I had with an old friend. Aside from simply enjoying conversation with a person you care about, I think that talking to people we’ve known for a long time can remind us of how much we’ve grown. Although it can be sad to realize how much you might have grown apart, it can also be really nice to see how other people are growing and doing really awesome things. Not only that, but I think that sometimes talking to old friends and laughing about the past can get us away for a moment from some of the things we’re struggling with now. Who doesn’t need a break every now and then? 2. Doing the work instead of having the fun. (Not all the time) This has been really crucial while navigating college life. My biggest complaint when I started college was that nobody told me how much work it was going to be. Everyone, and I mean everyone, told me it was going to be the best four years of my life and to enjoy it while it lasts, but they didn’t tell me that it was going to be way more work than I’ve ever had to manage before. Over time I figured out how to manage my time better, but this also meant accepting that a lot of free time has to be dedicated to getting things done. Luckily, I don’t mind sitting in the library for longs periods of time. The hard part is convincing myself that I can wait to watch another episode of Scandal. 3. Remembering to take care of your self. Yes, yes, yes. I am so glad half-asleep-me included this in her list because it is something I believe in firmly. I don’t think I have to elaborate too much here because it is pretty straightforward but it is so, so important. Both personal experience and my experience as support for friends has shown me that the best thing you can do for anybody is to first care for your self. We all have so much to offer to this world and we can do those things much more easily if we make sure we are nurturing ourselves and cultivating confidence in ourselves. 4. Keeping in touch with people close to you (call mom, call friends). Personal relationships are really important to me. I do everything I can to make sure the people that I care about know it. Of course I’m not always the perfect friend of perfect daughter but I believe that a big part of having healthy relationships is having regular contact with those people. Even if it’s just a two-minute phone call to check in on somebody, it feels good to be on the receiving end and knowing that someone is thinking of you. My best friends and I are constantly telling each other that we love and miss each other (we really do) and sometimes getting a message from them is exactly what I need. 5. Cleaning your room ugh. I am by no means a neat person. You can ask my mom, sister, roommates, or any other person who has had the unfortunate opportunity to see my bedroom. Cleaning my room is always at the bottom of my priority list but I really need to learn to put it up higher. I always feel so much better about my life in general when I have a clean room. I feel more put together and shockingly, am always more willing to have guests over when my floor isn’t covered in clothes. This kind of goes along with the “do the work, not the fun” idea; the lesson here is that cleaning will always suck, but it is always worth the effort. 6. Reading (of course lol). I laughed when I read my notes this morning and saw the parentheses I added next to this item on the list. I’m actually not going to go into this too much because I’ve written a lot about it in other posts but it’s still a very real member of this list of important things. I will tell you though, that I just bought 24 books for $10 and I am extremely excited about it. Reading is so awesome, y’all. I can talk about the boy who won’t let your mind get rest.
The one who told you maybe you should wait and see What happens down the road, but stays inside your dreams And wont let you sleep until you’ve held the conversation In your head that would have gone down something like That if he picked up the phone last time you called. I can tell you about the one who will invite you over But won’t want to hear about your day, or let You talk about what fills your heart with joy. Instead You’ll sit and stare at him like he’s the sun, the moon, and The stars and listen to him talk about himself and You won’t know any better because you love him. I can tell you about him and how you’ll believe that he’s The one. You’ll have a notebook full of letters that you hope, Maybe, one day he’ll read. But baby I would rather tell You that you are the sun. And the moon. And the stars. You Are all the things that fill your heart with joy and all the things That break you down when no one’s looking your way. I’d rather tell you that inside you is a universe That no one, not even that boy can begin to grasp and that No one, not even that boy, can dim the light in your eyes if you don’t want them to. Believe me, you are the reason for someone else’s smile, and if you’re really not sure believe me, you are the reason for mine. A few nights ago, I watched the live action Cinderella movie with my mom. Despite my fear that it would be incredibly cheesy, I remembered a conversation with my aunt when she insisted that it was a great movie, so I rented it anyway. It was the end of a very long week, which had left me worn out and slightly bitter. Much to my surprise, this movie was exactly what I needed.
Not only was Cinderella’s character incredibly sweet and likable, but the animation was impressive and the acting throughout was not intolerable, as I had expected. My favorite aspect, however, was the main idea of this movie, which came from a line that Cinderella repeated several times: always be kind and have courage. As the movie played out, I watched Cinderella stick to those words without fail. Despite how unfortunate her luck had been (losing both parents) and how terribly she was treated by her step mother/sisters, she remained incredibly kind to everyone. One of the moments that stuck out to me the most was just after she received the news that her father had passed. Her father’s traveling companion returned to Cinderella’s home and told her the sad news and the one thing she said to the man while holding back tears was, “I’m sorry. That must have been terribly difficult for you.” In this moment, Cinderella had lost all of her family. She was in a situation that I cannot even fathom and still, showed kindness and consideration for her father’s friend. Of course, it is a Disney movie and was bound to have a super-kind princess. Either way, it was inspiring. The kindness part of the message was something I have always tried to achieve. I strongly believe in kindness and how important it is; in fact I have already written an entire post about it. But there is also the courage part. Honestly, I don’t think about being courageous often. I don’t consider myself a very courageous person (unless courageous means eating in the dining hall alone. I can do that). It never occurred to me that being courageous, even in seemingly insignificant situations, could make a difference. In Cinderella’s case, being courageous meant dealing with her awful stepfamily and continuing to live in the house her family adored so much. Being courageous meant going to the royal ball and dancing with the prince even though she was not a princess and had no dowry to offer. Both of these things changed her life immensely. Had she not lived with her stepmother and stepsisters, she never would have met the prince in the woods and had she not gone to the ball, she would not have lost her slipper and would not have married him. I’m not a princess and I don’t know any. I don’t think I’m ever going to meet a prince let alone marry one. (I do, however, really want to work as a princess in Disney land, if anybody knows how to make that happen...) I don’t expect my life to be like Cinderella’s, but I can still follow her example. I can go to that club meeting even though I wont know anyone and I can keep writing blog posts and sharing my thoughts even though they might not be read. It could change my life for the better. Who knows? I finally understand that as I grow and try to create a life for myself, I’m going to have to have courage and take chances. Nothing in life is certain, but if I don’t jump at any opportunities, I’m going to continue to be static. I’m going to have to apply for the job I want even though it’ll be nerve wracking. One day, I am going to have to (hopefully) agree to marry someone and have the courage to live the rest of my life with that person. Together we are going to have to be courageous and face whatever difficulties come our way. I’m going to have to teach my children to be kind and thoughtful and courageous because that’s what moves us along in life. It seems silly taking a Disney movie so seriously but in hindsight, those stories are timeless for a reason. I’m going to be twenty years old in a month and I am still learning from my favorite Disney princesses. I didn't want to post anything else on this blog until I was truly inspired. Who knew that what would inspire me would be a story that I have seen and heard a countless number of times throughout my life? All it took to make me feel that I had learned an important message was hearing a few words; the same words I am encouraging you to consider and live by: always be kind and have courage. Anyone who has spent more than ten minutes with me knows that my hearing is awful. I say “what?” about two billion times more in one day than the average person (probably) and I’ve had the same conversation with a countless number of people: “If I don’t answer you, I promise I’m not ignoring you. My hearing is just really bad.” Not only that, but it is impossible to be quiet or sly when talking to me because if you try to whisper, I can guarantee I will not understand it.
I first discovered problems with my hearing in elementary school during the annual eyesight/hearing test with the school nurse. It started out the way any other hearing test would. I sat down in an uncomfortable plastic chair and put a very large pair of headphones over my ears. The nurse asked me to raise my right hand every time I heard a sound in my right ear, and to raise my left whenever the noise was in my left ear. I knew that every time the nurse hit a button she expected me to raise one of my hands. After about thirty into the test I began to get nervous because I knew she was hitting buttons, but I wasn’t hearing all of the noises. In the following years I continued to take tests like this in school and in check-ups at the doctor’s office. It became a habit to warn the nurses assessing me that they shouldn’t be surprised when the results were less than average. In high school, I finally went to an audiologist and found out that I have a sensorineural hearing loss that many people refer to as the “cookie bite” loss. This means that when looking at frequency scale, my ability to hear high pitched and low pitched sounds, is relatively normal. When looking at the mid frequency sounds, however, my ability to hear suffers. (When you look at the scale, the marks for my level of hearing form the shape of a cookie bite. Hence, the name.) I also found out that unfortunately, the entire human voice range is made up of mid frequency sounds. As I’ve gotten older my hearing loss has grown with me. I have always struggled with it, but in recent years it has become much more noticeable to me. To me it is no longer just an annoyance, but becoming an actual disability. Disability. It’s hard to use that word when you’re talking about yourself. It’s not a bad thing; it’s not something you can change. Yet it can still be hard when those around you don’t fully understand what it means or recognize that it is something that you actually struggle with. My hearing loss does not define me by any means, but it affects me every day in both good and bad ways. It is good, because I have become much more tolerant with others when they can’t hear. It’s funny because if there is ever a situation where I hear something and another person doesn’t, I notice. Every time. And when I notice that someone else has to ask, “what?” a few times to understand what is being said, because it is usually me in their shoes, I don’t get annoyed. One of the difficult things, though, is when I am in this person’s shoes and cannot, for the life of me, understand what I am being told. It is difficult because it happens so often and there are times when I can hear the impatience and annoyance in the speaker’s voice. It’s always after the third or forth, “what?” when the annoyance creeps into their tone. Often they’ll either say, “forget it,” or let out a quick, “oh my god,” before repeating themselves again. I hate these situations. It is embarrassing for me and as hard as I try, sometimes I just can’t grasp the words. Even worse than this is when someone decides to yell at me. This is a huge pet peeve of mine. Instead of just repeating themselves normally, they start to talk very slowly and very loudly. Most of the time it’s an attempt to be funny. I know that. I’m typically very good at catching on to humor and laughing along, especially about my hearing. When people become obnoxious about it, though, is when it stops being funny. I’d imagine that anyone with any other kind of disability would feel the same way. If a person with bad vision is given a really hard time for not recognizing someone immediately, they’ll probably feel awkward about it. They know they have bad vision. It’s not necessary to point it out and be loud about it. In my case, whenever people make continuous jokes or start to yell, it just highlights the fact that I can’t hear anything and makes me terribly, terribly uncomfortable. Many of you are probably thinking, “stop complaining and get some hearing aids!” I hear you, people! I’ll admit that I got hearing aids a few years ago and I hated them so much that I have only worn them a few times. (Imagine a world where every noise you heard went through a microphone first. That is what hearing aids create. Not only that, but they hurt and are just a genuine pain in the ass.) Even so, I have been attempting to get new/updated ones. My hearing has only gotten worse since I got my first pair and unfortunately, the hearing aids I got a few years ago no longer help me the way they are supposed to. Hearing aids won’t fix everything, but I’m still trying to work through the annoying and expensive process. Although I have had little trouble accepting that I have it, I don’t like my hearing loss. I’m often embarrassed and frustrated by it. I want to hear what my professors are saying in class and I want to hear all of the hilarious jokes that my hilarious friends make. If all goes well, I’ll be able to hear normally (for the most part) in the future. In the mean time, I have to keep saying, “what” every five seconds and I have to keep asking people to put on subtitles when we watch a movie. So bear with me. If you’ve read this far and are still with me, I have only one request: please don’t yell at me. UPDATE: I just found out that the Department of Human Services has accepted my application and they're giving me the medical asistance benefit that I needed!!! This means the government will pay for any medical equipment I need (hearing aids!!) and I don't have to pay thousands of dollars. Yay yay yay!!!!! This year on Valentines Day, I will be spending the day on the couch alone. I will not be a piece in a two-person puzzle celebrating the fact that somewhere and somehow, they found each other and fit together. There will be no flowers and no fancy dinner. Instead, I’ll be curled up under a blanket with some chocolate watching cheesy Hallmark movies. I’d really love to say that I’m okay with all of this. The sad truth, though, is that I’m not. Valentines Day feels really bitter for me.
I’m bitter because even though I have been single for over a year, I have still not accepted the fact that I am alone. I made the mistake of getting so attached to someone that my happiness and self-worth depended on him and in some ways, still does. My advice to everyone: don’t do this. For the past year, I have been trying my hardest to piece together an old puzzle that has bent and lost pieces. There have been times when I’ve felt as if it was starting to look like the picture I remembered. There have been others when I’ve watched myself tear pieces off and put myself back even further because of my frustration. Without this completed puzzle I have felt lost and lonely and worthless. The idea of a new puzzle (I guess I’ll keep the metaphor going) seems impossible. I’m bitter because have spent the past year going back in forth between feeling really happy/comfortable by myself and feeling miserable. I know that I am really blessed to still have a friend in my ex, but sometimes it feels a bit like a curse as well. It’s hard to get over someone when they’re still one of the kindest people you know and help to lift your mood in the low moments. I’m bitter because I know that it is ridiculous for me to be so caught up in this way. Yes, I am only 19 years old. Yes, I have my whole life ahead of me (if I had a dime for every time I heard that one…) I understand this completely and I have said it to myself a countless number of times in attempt to move on with my life. The issue is that when I started to fall in love, no one gave me the advice I’m offering now. No one said to me, “Hey, be careful because if you become too attached and find all your happiness in this person, you’re never going to be able to let go.” I guess I’m writing this because it’s easier to make sense of my own thoughts when I put them down in words. Love is a wonderful thing but it is almost impossible to walk away from when you forget that you are worth something on your own. The beauty, though, is that even if you’re like me and you don’t always remember it, you are worth everything on your own. You are beautiful, kind, smart, funny and intelligent whether someone else is telling you or not. So, while I may be bitter that there are people out there spending the evening with their significant other having a great time, I believe that I am still worth even more than I know. Note: Sorry this is really diary-ish. Everything else I tried to write about seemed really unimportant and uninteresting to me. I really wanted to write something so I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Happy Wednesday! This week has been a little bit rough for me with school and other pressures and unfortunately my creative juices are not flowing very well. So, I opted out of writing a whole piece. I did want to put up something, though, so I thought that I’d share some of my favorite quotes. These are quotes that I’ve found over the past few years (since I’ve had an iPhone) and saved into my notes. Some of them are from books, some I’ve heard from other people, and many of them I found simply by searching through quotes on the Internet. I don’t know who said all of them but I will try my best to give credit to those who deserve it.
I think that a lot people have really important things to say and I think it’s important to try to listen to as many of them as we can. With that said, here are some of my favorite quotes: “So far you have survived 100% of your worst days. You’re doing great.” –Unknown "I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift." –Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did to. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” –H. Jackson Brown, P.S. I Love You “What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.” –Unknown “The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.” –Unknown "Life is like a piano, the white keys represent happiness and the black keys show sadness. But as you go through life’s journey, remember that the black keys also create music.” –Ehssan "People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be kind anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." –Kent M. Keith “Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” –Rita Shiano “We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means ‘I survived.’” –Chris Cleave, Little Bee “Never look back. If Cinderella went to pick up her shoe, she would not have become a princess…” –Ehssan “So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” –Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie “If you have a bad thought about yourself, tell it to go to hell because that is exactly where it came from.” –Brigham Young “Don’t think about what can happen in a month. Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be.” –Eric Thomas “All I can tell you is once you see the magic in little things, you’ll be fine, because magic knows exactly when that happens and it’ll never leave you alone after that.” –Unknown “Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” –Annette Funicello “Make America great again.” –Donald Trump … just kidding. Sorry, I couldn’t resist that one (also, sorry if you like Trump.) Opportunity knocked and I answered. Anyway, I love the first 13 of those quotes and I hope you enjoyed them, too. Have a wonderful rest of your week! When I was a kid, I loved winter because winter brought snow. To my young mind, snow meant getting out of school, making igloos, and sledding down the hill in my neighbor’s back yard. Many times, my neighbors and I filled buckets with water and poured it over the snowy hill to make our sledding path turn to ice. It wasn’t a giant hill; however, with a running start and an icy path, we would go flying. When the weather channel called for snow it meant building snowmen and snow forts (which would obviously serve as protection during epic neighborhood snowball fights). Along with snow came hot chocolate and naps in front of the fireplace. I cherished all of these things.
I grew older and somewhere along the way I lost my appreciation for winter and everything it has to offer. I don’t like cold weather at all. I don’t like how restricting it can be and nothing is worse than going outside and shivering uncontrollably while getting windburn on your face. Snow became a nuisance and something that only made me cold and wet. A horrible, horrible combination. The only good thing that snow brought was the potential for a snow day. It’s impossible not to get exciting about a chance to sleep in. Overall, I didn’t like snow. For the past few years I would feel bummed after hearing of a chance of snow instead of jumping for joy. Cue in Winter Storm Jonas. My reaction when I first found out that we were going to get hit by a giant snowstorm was, you guessed it, not a happy one. It was my first weekend back at school and I was going to be stuck in my apartment for an entire weekend. Thanks, Jonas. (I’m not going to lie, all I can think about right now is the Jonas Brothers. Anyway…) As much as I hoped all the snow would somehow jump over West Chester, it didn’t. It snowed, snowed, and then snowed some more. I think the storm brought about a foot and a half of snow altogether, which is more snow than I have seen in a really long time if not ever. After making it through a few days in this mess I had some time to reflect on my experience. Believe it or not, I had a change of heart. As cold and windy as it may have been, the storm carried in a lot of good things. On Saturday evening during the worst of the storm, I decided to walk about a mile to another part of campus so I could celebrate one of my good friend’s birthdays. Being the angel that she is, my roommate decided she would walk with me halfway so that I didn’t have to make the journey entirely on my own. We got all bundled up and then after taking two steps outside we turned and when right back into our apartment. The snow was flying directly into our eyes and we needed something to help us see. Being the intelligent, innovative college students that we are, we decided to wear sunglasses as eye protection. We went back outside and now that we were able to see ahead of us, began out journey. I’m not going to lie, walking through the storm sucked. We were walking against the wind and snow and we could only manage to take really small steps. My sunglasses kept fogging up and the bottom half of our faces went numb. Despite all this however, I had a lot of fun. I was laughing the entire time and felt so happy that I had one of my best friends right next to me. When we were about halfway to my destination she turned around and walked back home. I finished the rest of the walk by myself and eventually made it inside to the warmth of my friends building. I had a very fun evening with my friends and was really happy that I was able to be there. The next day, I went on another adventure. The main roads were cleared for the most part so a few of my neighbors and I decided to go to Qdoba for lunch. What should have been a fifteen-minute car ride took half an hour and when we arrived, Qdoba was closed. Not a big deal, we thought, there was plenty of other places to eat nearby. We ended up just going to Wawa (surprise) and then sat in more traffic on the way home because people suck at driving in less-than-perfect conditions. The best part of this adventure, though, was not all of the laughs we had in the car. It was what happened when one of my friends spotted an old woman trying to open her front door. There was snow piled half way up her door. We recognized right away that there was no way this woman was going to be able to get out of the house. After discussing it for a minute, we decided to turn around and help. We got permission to park in a nearby driveway and offered our help to what turned out to be an extremely adorable and kind old couple. We were expecting to just shovel the pathway in front of the house and some of the driveway so that a car could get in and out. The old man who lived there had other ideas. We spent the next hour and a half shoveling a ridiculous amount of snow around the entire house. We found out that the man was 84 years old and from Italy. He had surgeries in both of his knees and about five other medical problems that made it impossible for him to shovel. His wife was incredibly kind and offered me gloves (I wasn’t wearing any because I didn’t expect to spend so much time outside) and then made all of us hot chocolate. I knew as soon as we started that I was going to be very sore after we were finished. Nonetheless, we all shoveled away and helped as much as we could. It was tiring and time-consuming but it was by far the best part of my weekend. The snow ended up being a blessing. I wasn’t looking forward to it but after this weekend, I have an entirely different view of snow days. Snow days are not only about getting out of class and getting to sleeping in; they create opportunities for incredible adventures. They give us one more opportunity to help a neighbor. Right now, I am extremely sore from all of the shoveling and sledding/wiping out I did but I am thankful that I feel this way. I might even say that I look forward to getting snow next year. Throughout my life I played several different sports. Like every other American kid I played soccer and eventually moved on to something else. The "something else" I moved on to is field hockey, and I've been playing ever since. I've done a lot of growing up on the field, thanks to the many wonderful coaches I got the chance to play for and the never-ending support of my family. A lot of my favorite high school memories are on the field or with my team. I learned many important things throughout my student-athlete years and thought I would share a few of them with you. With that said, five very important things field hockey taught me are:
1. You are never guaranteed a starting spot. This was true in high school and it is still true now. During high school field hockey, this was something that I heard from my coaches pretty frequently. It meant that you had to work hard every time you stepped onto the field, whether it was a regular practice or a game. Simply relying on talent alone wasn’t good enough—a starting spot had to be earned. Off the field, this concept is just as important. In many circumstances, whether it be passing classes or getting a promotion, moving forward requires hard work and dedication. Just showing up to the job will never get anybody anywhere (unless you’re Bobby Newport from Parks and Rec but nobody really liked him anyway). 2. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Don’t show up to preseason without having done any kind of training to get ready for it. The truth of the matter is, preseason is going to suck whether you prepare or not, but it will be a looooooot less sucky if you do. I like to relate this idea to public speaking. Some people can speak in front of an audience without any trouble at all, however, the other 99.9% of people would rather do anything else. The bad news is, public speaking is impossible to avoid and much like preseason, will be really difficult to do when the time arrives. Fortunately, it is also something that will become less difficult the more you prepare. So save yourself a little bit of stress and try to prepare yourself for whatever situation you might walk into. 3. Life will throw curve balls at you. During my senior field hockey season, our team made it to the playoffs. We prepared as best as we could and won our first game pretty handily. Unfortunately, late in that first game one of our defenders got hit (when I say hit, I mean drilled) in the head. I found out the next day that she was in fact suffering from a very bad concussion and would miss our next game. A few days later when we arrived at our opponent’s field, our coach called the team into a huddle to talk about the game ahead of us. It was nothing unusual until I didn’t hear my name included in the forward or midfield lineup. Instead, what I heard was, “Basch, you’re playing right back.” Up until this point, my entire field hockey career had been focused on offensive play. I had never played defense in a game before. Not only that, but I was taking over the position of a very talented defender and I really, really didn’t want to blow it. So I played as hard as I could and to my surprise, did well in my new position. Life is messy. Life doesn’t care that you’ve been preparing all season to play offense. Sometimes in circumstances out of your control, you have to improvise. When this happens, go ahead and take a second to be shocked. Go ahead and think, “what the hell? I didn’t sign up for this!” but then get over it. Focus on doing your best to make it through whatever new situation you might be in. You might be surprised with how it turns out. 4. It is extremely important to communicate. On the field, it’s impossible to see where all of your teammates are at all times. To overcome this inevitable blind spot, anyone who has played a team sport will tell you that the solution is talking. Communication is key, on and off the field. It helps us navigate our movements more easily and make good, meaningful plays rather than just hitting the ball forward and hoping someone is there to get it. It allows teammates to support each other both physically and mentally. In our everyday life, communication is just as important. If we don’t communicate with the people around us in meaningful ways it can be very difficult to get by. In a group project, things always run much more smoothly when the group members communicate with each other and work together rather than one person doing all of the work. In our personal lives, it is often much easier to accomplish things or cope with difficulty when we have the help of our friends and family. In order to receive help, however, we cannot be afraid to ask for it. Most importantly, we should not hold back from offering it to others. Communicate with other people. Speak to them. They might not know they have your support unless you tell them. 5. Find a way to do what you love. I have always loved playing field hockey. I picked up a stick for the first time when I was in 6th grade and immediately fell in love. When I got to high school, I began to play year-round with the support of my mom and my coaches. Playing field hockey was a huge part of my life and I am so, so glad I spent so much time doing something I enjoyed. I decided not to go out for recruitment because I wanted my college years to be focused on my education without the extra stress of being committed to a team. When I arrived at school, I almost immediately regretted that decision. Field hockey is an outlet for me. It allows me to put energy into something positive rather than sitting around and feeling stressed all the time. Early in my spring semester I received an email about tryouts for the school’s club team. After some deliberation (AKA freaking out because I hadn’t even touched my field hockey stick since my senior season) I decided to try out anyway and hope for the best. Thankfully, I made the team and I have enjoyed every minute of it since. I met the people who are now some of my best friends and I get to play a sport that I love. It is incredible how much happier I became when I started playing again. For all of you readers, I encourage you to find time to do something you love. Whether it is hiking, painting, singing, or anything else, adding just a little bit of extra time to your day and filling it with happiness can make all the difference. So, there you have it! There were many other things I wanted to include in this list but frankly, writing just five of them was difficult enough and I wanted to get this post done. I'm sure many of you can relate to these lessons and have many of your own. Feel free to share any of them in the comments! Have a great weekend! |
Kristen Baschoff20 year old college student trying to make every day a good one. "I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.” |